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ahuhokay

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looking at the pictures on the wall. she's dead! she's dead! [August 25th, 2008 @ 10am]
My.My.My.  You're looking more and more like a stranger. You can't even face me. The one thing i keep on kicking myself about is why is it that i still keep trying to connect to you, when you just flat out won't have it.
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[April 12th, 2007 @ 2pm]


... Me too...
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[March 27th, 2007 @ 9pm]
fighting. Again. i cant take this. Im supposed to be happy.
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[March 19th, 2007 @ 9pm]
my old password +6
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[March 11th, 2007 @ 7pm]
I've grown into a numb fool like the rest of them.


The only time i feel is when i'm with him
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[November 22nd, 2006 @ 6am]
.. i think i'm sad.
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[March 28th, 2006 @ 6pm]
"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.

Love is everything it's cracked up to be...It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for."
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[March 24th, 2006 @ 3pm]
i saw you with your hands spinning round trying not to look down and you did and you fell hard on the ground.
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[January 16th, 2006 @ 7pm]
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."
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[January 4th, 2006 @ 8pm]
i find it ironic that friends are the people you go to to seek stability, yet in reality, they are always the ones to tear your world down.

Xx just a simple observation.
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[December 10th, 2005 @ 4pm]
i looked into the mirror today, and i didnt recognize myself. I dont know anymore who to believe. obviously someone is lying to me... but its like either way, i lose. I dont know what to do about all this. i just need *&#^@ right now. How could anybody love this? What the hell am i getting myself into. i dont know... why.. why would they work so hard for me to believe their lies, or why would she try so hard to make me believe her. I dont like J***a one bit right now. i cant tell if it is because i am jealous, or she is being shady. Am i not believing them because i know they must be wrong, or because i want so badly for them to. im so confused. this isnt right. should i be afraid of michelle?.. or is this all just them trying to manipulate me.

Either way. keep your freinds close, but keep your enemies closer
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[December 10th, 2005 @ 4pm]
"There's an artist in everyone of us."
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[November 21st, 2005 @ 4am]
i fucked up.

i could take it further. but that would be too easy. but oh how i long for it to be easy. it hurts to hate so much. whew.

1 step at a time.

[August 20th, 2005 @ 7pm]

a year ago :" this summer really feels like it is going good, it's fun to be a kid agn, it's fun to bury people in the sand and give them mermaid tails, to go 'boogie' boarding and, to take a ride on the swings at my god parents house, to feel no pressure to be perfect or to have the weight of the world on my shoulders... it's fun just being with your friends and challenging your fears and insecurities only to discover that all this time, i have worried about so many things outside of my control. i am beginning to accept who i am and realizing i dont need anyone to validate who i am."

wow. its funny how things still havn't changed.
i heart maries.
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[August 20th, 2005 @ 12am]








Try to comprehend that which you'll never comprehend.






....
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[August 9th, 2005 @ 10pm]
This summer has been an important one. I've discovered many things about myself.. And others... Good,and bad. I've learned to trust some people more. And more pple less. I have been through my lowest low. And my highest high. now.. im not sure that that is healthy. but right now i am glad that i did. because i have all that i need. With NO BULL SHIT. Nothing to distract me from... Well figuring stuff out on my own. I know that sounds selfish and all.. But i finally gave up trying so hard for the people I thought were the people I love... if that makes any sense. I dont need anything of this spiteful nature to tear me up again. when someone says love. it should be forever. not until they figure that they just don't care anymore after having to have claimed. I've found my true friends. My true bosum buddies. the ones who won't kick you when your down. And they wont leave you either. The ones who make you smile againts your will because they know better than you do about what is good for you. the ones who make living worth while.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

And i wouldn't have it any other way.
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fuck you for making everything so difficult. [August 1st, 2005 @ 11pm]
"The good thing about having female friendships is that there isn’t any of that sexual tension involved. I mean, I have guys who I can cry to and have fun with, but it’s not the same bond. A lot of the time, girls and guys become friends because one of them thought the other one was attractive. And there’s none of that involved with being friends with girls. You can just be real.
♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

Having female friends who you can have fun with and run around with and act all giddy with and then share your most embarrassing, real moments with is worth so much. And just being able to have people who can support your choices or, even when you fuck up in your choices, still love you through anything.

There’s tons of drama in the relationships between girls. Girls have catfights and girls hold grudges. But when you have your best girlfriends who you’ve been through thick and thin with, you get past who looks better when and who gets what guy. With a boyfriend, you don’t necessarily know if you’re going to be with them in a certain amount of time. But you can be sure that your girlfriends will be there."

[June 28th, 2005 @ 5pm]
save yourself the trouble.
stop fooling yourself.
you know not what you do
you dont even realize the size of the burden
you so graciously bestowed upon me.
i can only carry it for so long
before even you and all your troubles bring me back down.
down to where the sand is cold and so is your voice
back down
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I guess it wasn't worth saving. [June 15th, 2005 @ 10pm]
dont worry about me. i'll be fine.



repeition.
and you wanted to know why.
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[June 14th, 2005 @ 10pm]
I will save you the trouble.
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